Will you love me?사랑해줄에요?
by LostFang314
Summary: As the rain fell from the heavens, I lifted my head towards the sky and screamed a heart shattering scream. My body slowly fell, my fists colliding with the floor...Will you love me?


Disclaimer: I do not own card captors

Will you love me? 사랑해줄에요?

I wanted to cry, my heart was wretched out as if it meant nothing… My tears, my very own tears wallowed in their own misery. Why do I have to suffer like this…why?! I never wanted to happen, I never wanted any of this, I just wanted…I just….

As the rain fell from the heavens, I lifted my head towards the sky and screamed a heart shattering scream. My body slowly fell, my fists colliding with the floor.

I couldn't take it anymore. Why…why….

Just last week, my heart was over flowing with so much love, with so much happiness that I didn't know what to do with it, but I knew who I'd give it to.

My waist long hair surrounded me, pooling around me, as did everyone's self pity. I didn't want it. I didn't need it. This world was so cruel, so hateful, what was I to do?

Eriol-kun… the cause of my pain…He hurt me more than any man could, deceived me like no other. I loved him, I love him still, but the hate that burns within my heart, the fire, the rage, it consumed it all, fueling my grief and pain.

Then there was my best friend, my supposed best friend. She knew how much I loved the man, how much I adored him since we first met him. She betrayed me. The very person I told all my secrets to, the person I came to first when I felt a twinge of sadness, and look what happened. Betrayal.

I laughed like a maniac. Pedestrians staring at me with self pity, but I knew, they held none. They cared none. They made it seemed like they cared, casting a glance, just to show the world that they took notice of a lost soul, of a crying heart. Che, what did they know.

Did they know of the betrayal that befell me? Did they bother to ask? Even if they did, they wouldn't have cared. No one does. Not even my very family.

They knew about this, they knew that they were going out, yet they never told me, my very own brother, the one who swore to protect me, who chased off all those men, betrayed me, lied to me in front of my very face. He knew how I felt, he knew! Yet what did he do? Nothing.

My father, oh my father. He kept that smile up the whole time, smiling like the idiotic man he is. He felt the pain of loosing someone, does he not care that his own daughter, his flesh and blood is suffering the same? But no, he just keeps smiling,

The rain pelts down on my frail body. The rain, the only comfort in this world for those like me; the hurt and abandoned…

Why…why did this happen….

That question, always in my mind, taunting me, cursing my very existence.

I just wanted to die; just wanting to end the pain, the hurt, the loss of a beating heart.

The heavens cried for me, the rain coming harder as my soul wept aloud.

Fear gripped my heart; what was I to do in this world. They say we all have a purpose, a quest, a destination, a goal.

What was I to do…

The hopelessness of the situation further encouraged my depression, the shock was still evident in my very core, as I saw them lip locked right in front of my eyes. I was going to confess to him, I had told her, what I was going to do that very day, she even encouraged me, with that…that smile on her face. Yet she was right there, right in front of me, kissing the one man I loved, the one man that has ever penetrated my heart…

I scoffed at my idiocy, my daftness. I was a fool to fall in love, a fool.

I slowly lifted my self off the ground. My joints stiff, my body numb, and most of all, my heart gone.

It has been years since that moment. I slowly moved on, but the shock, the damage was still there. I recoiled into my solitary state; I ignored those who approached me. Those that hurt me even tried to council me. Them of all people! I just laughed in their face and walked off.

After that, I concentrated on my studies, taking any jobs that were offered to me, wanting to show the world that I would not be put down. I would show them that I was strong…

I live alone now, in the safety of these walls, of my own confinements.

I'm in my last year of College; I currently attend Tokyo University, now finishing my masters in business, and will then work on my doctorates. I felt a feeling of satisfaction envelop me.

All my professors congratulated me on my success, on my many achievements and high test scores. But…that feeling was still there.

I could still feel their pity upon me, those eyes, those eyes that grieved for me, on the outside, but never truly on the inside.

It was a cold autumn's day. I was sitting alone in a secluded park, watching the world pass me by. The dark and dreary colors enveloped me, adding to the depressing atmosphere.

The swings creaked back and forth as a gentle but ominous wind blew. Leaves rolled about, the very life leaving them as seconds passed them by.

I pulled my brown winter coat closer to me, wanting to feel some comfort, some reassurance.

My eyes stared into the sky. There were some clouds, but just wisps. I just stared. Not thinking, not moving, nothing.

I still think back to that day, as I saw them kissing in front of the school gate, holding and embracing each other, as if their very survival depended on it.

I moved to run, but I stepped on a stick, catching their attention.

Their eyes full of shock and love, for each other.

As soon as I gained control of my thoughts, I ran, I ran, never turning back.

I could hear them chase after me, calling out my name, begging me to stop, but I never did. I never could, all I could do was run.

My heart still wrenched at that one moment in my life, that one moment that changed everything, that changed my life, my personality, my heart.

I still wonder to this day, what would have happened if I were never to have seen that, if he too told me that he loved me so, but that's all we humans can do now isn't it, to reminisce. To think back into the past, of what could have been.

I felt the bench lower a little, an added weight. I turned my attention from the clouds to the man next to me.

His unruly chestnut hair tousled from the wind, his brown winter jacket, his green scarf.

He was silent, as if watching the world, to see if they'd notice him.

He leaned back into the bench, giving no recognition that someone was beside him.

I said nothing.

The silence that reigned between us was that of mutual consent.

I returned my attention back to the sky, the clouds that once floated above, gone, dissipated with the wind.

It was silent for the whole afternoon, neither of us talking, just thinking.

The suddenly, he spoke.

"This is such a cruel world that we all live in"

His eyes directed at the sky, as he merely whispered these words, as if they were his own thoughts.

"Yes it is…"

Again silence reigned between us.

When night fall came, we both got up and left, not another word spoken between us, going our separate ways, never to know if we'd meet again.

The very next day, I saw that he was in all my classes, a coincidence, maybe, but in this world, we'd never know.

Every Saturday, I'd come to the park, just sitting, contemplating. He came shortly after me, never speaking a word.

It soon became a routine, we'd go to school during the week days, and meet on Saturdays, just thinking.

The pain soon became bearable. I felt at peace when ever we met. The memory of that fateful night soon dissipated into the back of my mind, hopefully to never return again.

It's been a year since I met this stranger; never knowing his name, his heritage, his age.

Until one day, he spoke once more.

He slowly stood from his seat, staring at me with his piercing amber golden eyes. A feeling coursed within the pit of my stomach.

He stuck out his hand. I observed it for a moment. He had very feminine hands, with well kept nails, his skin free of blemish, but in its own way, held an air of masculinity about it.

"My name's Li Syaoran…"

I slowly stood from my position, just staring at him in bewilderment, before I too stuck my hand out, meeting his.

"Kinomoto Sakura"

And for the first time in years I smiled.

A warm feeling spread through out my body.

Just maybe, just maybe, I'd have a second chance.

A chance to live,

A to love,

A chance to just be me.

Then something happened.

He smiled, and at that very moment, my heart pumped as if I'd explode.

A mutual love grew between us, silently hiding , growing from our silent encounters.

A silent tear escaped my heart, as he brought his hand to gently wipe it away. He stared at me, in a way that I've always dreamed of, and gently embraced me.

Another year has passed since that moment. We finally got together after a month after our official introduction.

We were once again at the park, just silently staring, at the world, as if we were mere shadows, but we knew we weren't alone.

I gently grabbed his hand in mine, never looking away, never looking towards, till he gently faced me towards him, with his index finger. He lightly kissed me on the lips before whispering the words that I wanted to hear from the very first man that stole my heart.

"Will you love me…?"

And I knew my heart was back, but belonged to another.

To my mysterious stranger.

* * *

-LostFang314 


End file.
